Dibenci setan,Dikutuk Tuhan

Tanya:Pekerjaan apa yang dibenci setansekaligus dikutuk tuhan?
Jawab:Memperkosa anak setan....

Orang Gila Belum Sembuh

Seorand sokter kaget ketika masuk halaman belakang sebuah rumah sakit jiwa,karena sia mendengar ada orang bernyanyi.Setelah dia cari ternyata suara seorang pasien rmah sakit jiwa tersebut.cuma anehnya ,si pasien menyanyikannya dengan tidur telentang.Dengan heran sang sokter terus mengamati pasien tersebut.dia berpikir pasien sudah sembuh.Lebih kaget lagi,kemudian pasien tersebut tengkurap dan menyanyikan lagu yang lain.Karena penasaran,dokter menghampiri sang pasien dan bertanya,"Hai,Mengapa kamu tadi menyanyi dengan tidur telentang dan sekarang tidur tengkurap?"Dengan kalem pasien menjawab,"Ya dok,karena tadi side A,Sekarang side B

Victim oleh: Avenged Sevenfold

House full of roses, a letter on the stairs
A table of messages for anyone who cares
Collage of broken worlds and stories full of tears
Remembering your life cause we wish that you were here

Nothing is harder than to wake up all alone
Realize that it's not okay, it's the end of all you know
Time keeps passing by, but it seems I'm frozen still
Scars are left behind, but some too deep to feel

And some say that this can't be real
And I've lost my power to feel tonight
We're all just victims of a crime
When all is gone and can't be regained
We can't seem to shelter the pain inside
We're all just victims of a crime

Somedays you'll find me in a place I like to go
Ask questions to myself about the things I'll never know
What's left to find cause I need a little more
I need a little time, can we even up the score?

And some say that this can't be real
And I've lost my power to feel tonight
We're all just victims of a crime
When all is gone and can't be regained
We can't seem to shelter the pain inside
We're all just victims of a crime, yeah

Well nothing lasts forever, for all good things it's true
I'd rather trade it all while somehow saving you
It must have been the season that threw us out of line
Once I stood so tall, now I'm searching for a sign
So don't need your salvation with promises of time
And all the speculation, save it for another time
Cause we all need a reason, a reason just to stay
While some just can't be bothered to stick around another day

Well some say that this can't be real
And I've lost my power to feel tonight
We're all just victims of a crime
When all is gone and can't be regained
We can't seem to shelter the pain inside
We've all been victims of a crime
Victims of a crime
Living with this crime

I'm missing you
I'm missing you
I'm missing you
I'm missing you

So Far Away -Avenged Sevenfold

Never feared for anything
Never shamed but never free
A life that healed a broken heart with all that it could

Lived a life so endlessly
Saw beyond what others see
I tried to heal your broken heart with all that I could

Will you stay ?
Will you stay away forever ?

How do I live without the ones I love ?
Time still turns the pages of the book its burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you’re so far away

Plans of what our futures hold
Foolish lies of growing old
It seems we’re so invincible
The truth is so cold

A final song, a last request
A perfect chapter laid to rest
Now and then I try to find a place in my mind

Where you can stay
You can stay awake forever

How do I live without the ones I love ?
Time still turns the pages of the book its burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you’re so far away

Sleep tight, I'm not afraid
The ones that we love are here with me
Lay away a place for me
Cause as soon as I'm done I'll be on my way
To live eternally

How do I live without the ones I love ?
Time still turns the pages of the book its burned
Place and time always on my mind
And the light you left remains but it's so hard to stay
When I have so much to say and you’re so far away

I love you
You were ready
The pain is strong enough despite
But I'll see you
When He lets me
Your pain is gone, your hands are tied

So far away
And I need you to know
So far away
And I need you to
Need you to know

Greenday-21st Century Breakdown

Born into Nixon, I was raised in hell.

A welfare child where the teamsters dwelled.

The last one born, the first one to run,

My dad/town was blind by refinery sun.

My generation is zero.

I never made it as a working class hero

21st century breakdown

I once was lost but never was found.

I think I'm losing what's left of my mind.

to the 20th century deadline.

I was made of poison and blood.

Condemnation is what I understood

From Mexico to the Berlin Wall

Homeland security could kill us all.

My generation is zero.

I never made it as a working class hero.

21st century breakdown,

I once was lost but never was found.

I think I'm losing what's left of my mind.

to the 20th century deadline.

We are the cries of the class of 13

born in the era of humility

we are the desperate in the decline

raised by the bastards of 1969!!!

My name is no one, your long lost son

Born on the 4th of July

raising the bygones of heroes and cons

left me for dead or alive

There is the war that's inside my head

that questions the results and lies

While breaking my back til I'm damn near well dead

When enough ain't enough to survive.

I am an agent, a worker, a pawn

my debt to the status quo

the scars on my hands are a means to an end

it's all that I have to show

I'm taking a loan on my sanity

for the redemption of my soul

well I am exempt from this tragedy

and the 21st century fall

Praise, Liberty

the freedom to obey

it's a song that strangles me

well, don't cross the line

Oh, dream American dream

I can't even sleep/see

from brainstorms/rainstorms til dawn

Oh, bleed America bleed

believe what you read

from heroes and cons.

Kumpulan sms

Kangen banget ama lo

Gue kangen bgt ama lu, tiap pulang ke rumah inget lu, tanpa lu hidup gue berantakan. Please, balik ama gue. Gue mohon karena gue bener2 butuh seorang PEMBANTU

Diciptakan berpasangan

Manusia diciptakan Tuhan berpasangan,ada pria ada wanita,ada cakep ada yg jelek.Yang cakep kirim sms yg jelek baca sms.Kita harus tabah menerimanya

Trayek Bus

Trayek Bus:
Lebak Bulus=Lepas Bajuku Baru Dielus
Senayan=Sekali Kena Langsung Doyan
Ciputat=Cium Pusar Sampai Pantat
Blok M=Belum Oke Kok Muncrat

Malam ini indah sekali

Ada WTS lg nongkrong, kemudian ia berkata kpd temannya:”Mlm ini indah skl, saya mencium bnyk aroma PEN** diudara” “Maaf saya brsn bersendawa” kata temannya.

Saya tidak bisa yang Mulia

HAKIM bertanya pd KORBAN perkosaan,”Knp tdk kamu gigit PEN** terdakwa ketika DIA memaksamu melakukan ORAL sex?” Korban,”Saya tdk bisa yg Mulia, saya VEGETARIAN”

Saat dipegang makin tegang

Waktu dilihat bikin hati deg2an, saat dipegang jadinya makin tegang, habis pegang dikocok makin menegang, akhirnya keluar! Wow! Puas Rasanya! Karena dpt ARISAN!

Jangan kawin dengan…

Jgn KAWIN ama orang TELKOM, tiap 3 menit putus. Apalagi ama DOKTER GIGI abis digoyang langsung dicabut. Mendingan ama GURU, kurang jelas di ulang sampe PUAS

Sampaikan pesan ini

Sampaikanlah pesan ini kpd 9 orang teman yg kamu anggap goblok: Tenanglah, saya juga barusan menerima pesan ini

Kenapa orang ini masuk neraka?

Saya berdoa “Tuhan, kenapa orang ini masuk neraka? Bukankah dulu dia rajin baca Kitab Suci?” Jawab Tuhan “Kata siapa? Tuh liat, rajinnya baca SMS aja”

Kenapa muka kita buruk Mak

Kata anak MONYET: Mak, kenapa muka kita kok buruk ya? Mak MONYET menjawab: Bersyukurlah nak, muka kita tidak seburuk yang baca SMS ini

Dia sadar

Waktu denger bunyi “TIT-TIT-TIT” Si Jelek langsung baca SMS NYA, selang beberapa detik dia sadar “SIALAN SI CAKEP LAGI NGERJAIN GUE

Understand

“UNDERSTAND” artinya Mengerti. UNDER artinya Di bawah, STAND artinya Berdiri. Jadi kalo yg di bawah udah “Berdiri”, maka kamu pasti sudah “Mengerti

Buah semangka buah duren

Buah semangka buah duren, Engga nyangka gue keren. Buah semangka buah manggis, engga nyangka gue manis, Ada gula ada semut, gila gue imut!

Burung pipit makan kedondong

Istri yg sopan kalau minta duit:burung pipit makan kedondong,minta duit dong!Suami menjawab:burung pipit makan kedondong,burungku dijepit dulu donk!

5 presiden kita (lagi)

Soekarno suka perempuan, Suharto takut perempuan, Habibie kaya perempuan, A. Wahid ngga tahu perempuan, Megawati emang perempuan

Pesan nenek

Pesan nenek : jangan kawin dengan Dr. gigi, susah punya anak, krm mrk punya prinsip :
GOYANG DIKIT DICABUT & KETEMU LOBANG DITUTUP

5 Presiden kita

Soekarno bnyk anak, Soeharto sayang anak, Habibie spt anak-anak, Gus Dur dituntun anak, Megawati spt mau beranak

Aku beranikan diri tuk ungkapkan

Waktu mau SMS kamu,hatiku jadi deg2an.akhirnya aku beranikan diri tuk ungkapkan,bahwa selama ini,aku sayang bgt ama PULSAKU

Bila tidak tahan, datanglah padaku

Bila tidak tahan, datanglah padaku, lepas celana dlmmu, duduk diatasku, rasakan & nikmatilah sepuas2nya. Dr yg amat menyintaimu –Toilet-

Kalau ada yang bilang

Kl ada yg bilang lu jelek,sabar aja.Kl ada yg blg Lu bego,Cuekin aja.Kl ada yg blg lu dungu,Cool aja.Tp kl ada yg blg lu cakep, Tampar aja krn itu FITNAH!

Kalau kamu MARAH

Kalau kamu MARAH
keluarkan AMARAHmu
Kalau kamu sedih
keluarkan TANGISANmu
TAPI INGAT!
Kalau kamu MALU
jangan keluarkan KEMALUANmu

Penis Pria ditentukan jenis kartu HPnya

Penis Pria ditentukan jenis kartu HPnya…
XL = Xtra Large
SIMPATI = Setengah Imut tapi Memuaskan PAsangan TIdur
MENTARI = MENengah TApi Rajin ereksI

Woman has 6 Rooms

DO U KNOW?
Woman has 6 Rooms:
Face is SHOWROOM
Breast are PLAYROOM
Tummy is STOREROOM
Vag**a is MEN”S ROOM
Anus is EMERGENCY ROOM
Mouth is KARAOKE ROOM

Stone, tree, and monkey

I asked the lord for a stone,He gave me a diamond.I asked a tree,He gave me a forest.I ask him a monkey..OH GOD He gave me your number!

Desahan

4 Type desahan sex wanita: 1.Type Romantis, ooh aah ooh. 2.Type Plin Plan: ooh yes ooh no. 3.Type Religius, oh God yes. 4.Type Maniac, lu cabut gue gampar

Press down if u

Press down if u
miss me…
Aduhh Ge Er niCh!
UdaH dongG!
mAsih mCenceT?
Kangen Bgt yAh
aMa aKu?
Aku Emang
NgangeNin Sih )

Angels live in heaven

When I was a kid, my mom told me that angels live in heaven. Now I know that it is not true. Bcoz if angels live in heaven, WHY AM I HERE ON EARTH?

Tiap malam kau gerayangi aku

Tiap malam kau gerayangi aku dengan bibirmu, kau hisap puas tubuhku, kau berikan eranganmu ditelingaku & setelah puas kau tinggalkan aku. Dasar nyamuk sialan!

Elo seperti Monyet

Gue seneng ama sifat2 elo, seperti Menyayangi, Optimis, Nekat, Yakin, Elastis, & Tekun. Jadi kalo disingkat, elo seperti M.O.N.Y.E.T

Apa Gelar Anda?

Apa Gelar Anda? SE=Susah Ereksi, MBA=Mimpi Basah Aja, SH=Senang diHisap, LLM=Lagi Lagi Muncrat, Drg=Diatas Rajin Goyang, IR=Isapannya Ruuaarrbiasa

Pilih yang mana

Pilih yang mana. A.Tlp balik jika aku cute, B.Kirim sms jika aku baik & funky, C.Miskol jika aku cakep, D.Jangan lakukan apapun jika semua jawaban itu benar.

Tangan, hati, dan kaki

Hanya tangan yg terbuka yg bisa menerima harta, hanya hati yg terbuka yg bisa menerima cinta, dan hanya kaki yg terbuka yg bisa merasakan kenikmatan

Bercinta sampai ke puncak

Jika anda bercinta tidak pernah mencapai puncak. Ikuti Saran berikut:
Usahakan jangan bercinta pada hari libur, karena jalur Puncak MACET BOK

3 words

Feeling lonely?
Feeling sad?
Loosing hope?
No true friend to talk to?
Hope 3 words would light up yr heart:
KASSIAAAN DE LOE

Teori Darwin

Sebenernya gue nggak percaya dg Teorinya Darwin yang mengatakan bahwa manusia itu berasal dari monyet. Tapi setelah gue melihat muka elo, gue baru percaya.

Tipe cowok dilihat dari mobilnya

Tipe cowok dr mobilnya.KIJANG:Kecil Item tapi panJANG.KUDA:KUlumannya Dahsyat.SOLUNA:SOdokannya LUmayan Nancap.KARIMUN:KAlo RIbut tandanya MUNcrat

Man are Funny

Man are Funny, Understanding, Cute, Kind, Intelligent, Naughty, Great, Sweet, Honest, Independent n’ Thruthful. In short word they are F.U.C.K.I.N.G. S.H.I.T

Pengalaman adalah guru yang baik

Pengalaman adalah guru yang baik. Tapi guru yang baik belum tentu berpengalaman.

Elo tega ke gue

gue percaya ama loe karena loe temen gue. Tapi kenapa loe kayak gitu ke gue. Gue gak percaya loe tega kayak gini ke gue. Kenapa loe tega ngomongin gue dibelakang. Gue gak abis pikir kenapa loe promosiin kalo gue itu keren

Survey membuktikan

Survey membuktikan bhw perempuan lebih kuat dr laki2. Perempuan membawa 2 gunung, sedangkan laki2 hanya membawa 2 kelereng, itu aja masih dibantuin burung

If you think sex is funny

Sex is good. Sex is funny. Many people fuck for money. But, if you think sex is funny, Fuck yourself and safe your money

Jinak-jinak burung merpati

Jinak-jinak burung merpati, lebih jinak burung sendiri. Burung merpati dikerjar lari, burung sendiri dipegang BERDIRI

I”ll get married next week

I”ll get married next week. There will be a small celebration & limited guest will be invited. Please don”t bring any gift, just bring me a right woman to marry

When things go wrong

When things go wrong & when sadness fill your hearts & when tears flow in your eyes, just let me know, because I want to be there for you. I”m selling tissue

Engkau sungguh dinamis

Engkau sungguh dinamis, Rambutmu kayak Selebritis, Sifatmu romantis, Gayamu erotis, Pakaianmu necis, tapi sayang wajahmu kayak TELETUBBIES

Tanpa mengurangi rasa hormat

Tanpa mengurangi rasa hormat, kami sangat berterimakasih bila ucapan Natal & Tahun Baru tidak berupa kartu atau SMS, tapi UANG TUNAI

What”s wrong with your HP?

What”s wrong with your HP? I tried calling many times! Everytime I dial your number, the Operator kept saying “The person you are calling is HAVING SEX. Please try later!”

What do you usually say after sex?

What do you usually say after sex?
I LUV U? wrong!
THAT WAS GREAT? Wrong again!
I LUV IT? wrong!
Answer:
TISSUE,TISSUE.. QUICK

5 kelebihan ASI

5 kelebihan ASI dibanding dengan susu kaleng: Mudah dibawa, Instan (cepat saji), Tidak cepat basi, Tidak mudah dijangkau kucing, Dikemas dlm kemasan yg menarik

Peringatan FBI

FBI mengingatkan akan adanya teror susulan nanti mlm yaitu pesawat tumpul tanpa sayap yg akan menabrakkan ke WTC ( WANITA TANPA CELANA )

When cloud getting dark

When Cloud getting dark, When Wind blow hard, I remember you in my heart, No one like you can count on, please ANGKAT JEMURAN DONK

Sudah sejak lama aku memperhatikanmu

Sudah sejak lama aku memperhatikanmu, mencuri pandang hanya untuk melihatmu, ku tak tahu apa yg harus kukatakan kepadamu agar kau mengerti ada UPIL di hidungmu.

Anda nasabah Bank mana?

Anda nasabah Bank mana?
BII: Berselingkuh Itu Indah
BCA: Berselingkuh Cari Aman
MANDIRI: senangnya MAiN berDIRI
NIAGA: NIkmatnya mAin bertIGA

pemerintah menolak merger 4 bank

pemerintah menolak merger 4 bank swasta:bank panin,bank tata,bank bukopin, dan bank mega, karena kalau digabung nanti namanya jadi Bank Pan-Tat-Bu-Mega

Cowo Amerika kalo malam

Cowo Amerika kalo malam habis tidur bareng, paginya bilang “Morning sweet heart”. Cowo Prancis “Are U satisfied?” Kalo cowo Melayu JANGAN BILANG SIAPA2 YA!

Taufik Kiemas akan ditangkap

Taufik Kiemas akan ditangkap Polda Metro Jaya hari ini, krn tlh t’bukti slama ini dg sengaja menekan & menggoyang Persiden RI yg sah

Perampok

Seorang lelaki merampok rumah seorang janda dan mengancam : pilih TAMAT atau NIKMAT ! Sehabis melakukan …….. si rampok lemas sijanda balik mengancam pilih PULANG atau ULANG!